Why's my doctor so grumpy?

Dr Ryen, I need help. I don’t think my doctor likes me. Every time I come to see him, he sighs a lot and looks like he just wants the visit to be done. I barely get through what’s bothering me when he’s reaching for the door. So many of my friends don’t have a family doctor, and I really don’t want to lose mine. How do I make appointments better for both of us? 

 - Debbie, Edmonton, AB

Hi Debbie,

You’ve touched on a number of issues. First, there simply aren’t enough doctors to go around. Lots of patients are “orphaned” - a GP retires or moves away and their patients are left without a medical home. Second, doctors are burning out at unprecedented rates. This leads to shorter visits, less availability of appointments, and strained doctor-patient relationships. Third, doctors work long hours. Sixty-hour weeks (or more) are common. Additionally, they're often on call for after-hours emergencies - a grumpy doctor in the clinic may have been at the hospital all night delivering a baby. All these issues are way beyond what a patient can fix, but there are a few things you can do to make your visits go a little smoother. Here are four tidbits doctors wish their patients knew:

1. 1. Tell us ALL your problems right off the bat. It’s frustrating to spend a whole visit dealing with the warts on your foot only to hear about your worsening chest pain as we get up to leave. Write things down. List all of your concerns and lay them out at the start. That way we can deal with the most important issues that day and make a plan to tackle the rest at another visit.

   2. Don’t talk when we’re using a stethoscope. I get it, doctors jump up to listen to your heart and lungs before you’re done the whole story about your cough. But as soon as that stethoscope touches your skin, we can’t hear a word you’re saying. Your voice is really loud through those earpieces and it blocks what we’re trying to listen for. Abnormal chest sounds (like lungs crackles or a heart murmur) can be subtle, so resist the urge to speak when we’re listening to your chest. 

   3. The bulk of our job is paperwork. For every minute doctors spend with their patients, there are two minutes of charting behind the scenes. Requisitions for tests, sick notes, prescriptions… these all take time. Most paperwork isn’t compensated, so those insurance forms you bring us are usually done pro bono. As you can imagine, all that extra administrative work is a drag. So, if a medical form can be filled out by a nurse or pharmacist, please ask them first. If it’s necessary for a doctor to complete it, feel free to complete any sections you can. Leave the examination, diagnosis, treatment, and prognosis to us, but there's lots you can do for us. Name, age, health number, allergies, medications… we just copy down what you tell us anyway. Getting a head start on extra paperwork saves us time and effort. We appreciate it.

   4. Little gestures of gratitude go a long way. Every clinical encounter is focused on a “complaint”. That doesn’t mean all patients are complainers, just that they have a problem that needs fixing. The “chief complaint” is doctor-speak for what’s wrong. All day long we hear about problems, pain, and suffering. Nonstop. So, every once in a while it’s nice to hear something positive. Don’t be shy to (briefly) express how thankful you are for the care. Hand-written notes make our day - they usually get tacked to the wall to remind us we’re doing something right. Fresh baked cookies will get devoured before you’re even in your car. Now, let’s be clear that you should never feel you have to earn your visit. In fact, it’s unethical (and uncomfortable) for us to accept any gifts with monetary value (i.e. cash, gift cards, alcohol, restaurant meals, event tickets). But once in a while, a thoughtful pick-me-up is really sweet. I had a patient knit me a little toy version of myself - my kids play with it to this day. Even a warm handshake and genuine gratitude go a long way to keeping us enjoying our work. 

There are lots of reasons a doctor might look grumpy during a clinic visit - many are outside your control. However, a little appreciation and common courtesy can make a big difference. 

Good luck, Debbie. It’s not easy being a patient these days. Hopefully a couple tweaks to your visits can make things more enjoyable to both of you. 

© D. B. Ryen Incorporated, December 2024.  

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