I'm the mother of boys

Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her.

– Proverbs 31:28

I'm the mother of boys

There is pee on every toilet seat

Crumbs on every counter

Noise in every moment

But sometimes, when there's silence,

I know something's not right

An epic mess is brewing,

forbidden sweets are being eaten,

or a bone is about to break

I'm the mother of boys

Just three of them and me in the house

Delivered two of them, married to one of them,

but sometimes I feel more like his mother than his wife

My only peace is a few minutes in the shower each morning

But inevitably someone finds me

"I can't find any socks!"  

"There's no more milk!"  

"Mommmmm!  Owie!  Kiss!" 

Sigh, why do I not lock the door?

I'm the mother of boys

Who would ever want a pet?

I clean up enough mess as it is

I don't know why I set the table 

They'd eat out of a feeding trough if they could

And I could just hose them down on the back porch before bed

I'm the mother of boys

But most days I feel like a ringmaster in the circus

The only thing that gets them all moving is the crack of my whip

My husband is a lion, strutting around with his chest out

I hunt and gather and cook all the meals

And he graces us with his presence to consume them before I clean it all up

Then it's time for his nap on the couch

A lion for sure

My oldest boy is a rhino

A trail of destruction wherever he goes

Hard-headed, quick tempered, endless appetite

Don't you ever wear pants?

Do you even know what a laundry basket is for?

Then there's the youngest, a monkey

Do I wear a sign on my forehead that says, "Climb on me"?

How is he always in my lap?

And how does he find that dirty cheerio on the floor after I've swept up?

I'm the mother of boys

What a career

Great use of my college degree

I'm a cook,

cleaner,

taxi driver,

seamstress,

soccer coach,

nurse,

cheerleader,

bookkeeper

No pay, no sick days

Vacations are just work days in different locations

When did I develop this nervous twitch?

And where's my glass of wine?

The Bible says my kids will bless me

And my husband will praise me

On what planet does that happen?

Getting a “thank you” is like pulling teeth sometimes

I'm the mother of boys

They all try really hard on mother's day

The macaroni necklace and homemade cards are actually really sweet

I even appreciate the crunchy scrambled eggs

But shouldn't this happen weekly?

I finally trained my husband to make me coffee in the morning

Only took two years

We're working on putting down the toilet seat now

I'm the mother of boys

My life is not my own

My greatest accomplishment is making it through each day

without yelling

or crying

or calling 911

I don't know how my own mother did it

I used to tease her over keeping Kleenex,

fruit snacks, and bandaids

in her purse at all times

Now I do the same

These are life and death items

She quietly smiles as I chase my brood around

Looks like she's finally got the last laugh

I'm the mother of boys

I've never been so needed in all my life

And I wouldn't have it any other way

© D. B. Ryen Incorporated, December 2019.